When I left
by emmarizonatorres
Summary: Arizona came back from Africa, but Callie never accepted her back in her life. Six years later, Callie needs Arizona to save her child's life, how will Arizona react ?
1. Coming back

**CALLIE'S POV.**

I used to love this hospital, but now I am sitting in this dark closet, on my own, crying my heart out for something I'll never be able to defeat. What's wrong ? Why can't we understand what's happening ? I just wish I could spend my whole life here, pretending nothing was wrong. My pager goes off, making me come back to reality. It's Owen, what could he possibly want right now ? I slowly stand up and try to fix my make up, I need to look at least like a normal person, not a destroyed, weak animal. I open the door and face the real world, knowing Owen's news will probably shatter my heart. I see him waiting for me in front of his office. He opens the door for me and invites me to sit in the chair in front of his desk.

"The results came in." He says, trying to look at me. I see panic in his eyes and I'm not sure what to expect.

"And ?" I ask. I can hear terror in my voice, but I'm trying to stay calm.

"It's juvenile myelomonocytic leukemia," he sighs "I'm sorry, Callie."

My heart stops, my body freezes, but my tears never stop from falling. I understand now why he made me sit in this chair, because I feel like passing out in any minute. Being a doctor right now is a curse, because I perfectly know what he's talking about. "What..." I stammer. "W-w-what am I supposed to do now ?" I do know what I should do, but it makes me want to vomit.

"Call her.

She'll know what to do. But, Owen, don't tell her it's my son. Just tell her that it's an interesting case of JMML, she'll surely want to see it."

I get up and leave Owen's office, I need to see my baby. When I get to his room, he's sleeping. I sit down next to him and grab his hand.

"Don't worry, baby... It'll be fine. You'll be fine." I spend the rest of the night like this, holding my son's hand, waiting for him to wake up. I don't know what to say, I don't know how to react, he's my child. I need to talk to Mark and tell him everything.

"Mami. Me hungry."

"I'll have the nurses get you something, alright ?" I look at him, he can't even keep his eyes open.

"Ok... Me sleepy."

"You'll eat something and then you'll go back to sleep honey, don't worry." I wish I could stop crying, but looking at him makes this even harder to accept and to understand. I get up and talk to the nurses, begging them to give him something nice for dinner. In peds they normally try to make the kids as comfortable as they could possibly be, so I hope he'll be satisfied with his dinner tonight.

"Can you please page doctor Sloan ?" I ask the nurse. "I got our son's results back."

"Sure." The nurse looks at me, unsure how to react. She knows that the results destoryed me, she can probably see it in my eyes. I'm not trying to hide my feelings, there's no need to. After a few moments I see Mark running towards me. He hugs me for a few seconds before asking :

"This can't be good."

"He has JMML." I say. "Our son has leukemia."

He stares at me, unable to talk. He turns to his left to look at our child sleeping in his bed. "No... It... It can't be JMML." He's starting to cry as well. I don't know how we'll survive this, we can't lose our child.

"It is." I sigh. "Mark we need the best doctor we could possibly have to save him."

"Robbins." He whispers. "Are you sure ?"

"I already made Owen call her. He needs the best, she's the best." He hugs me again and we silently spend the rest of the night watching our son sleeping.

ARIZONA'S POV.

I left early this morning to go to Seattle, Owen called me last night for a consult. I have an appointment with him at around ten a.m this morning to see the child and decide whether I can help him or not. After our appointment I have to see Alex for lunch and I'm wondering why they decided to call me. Callie and I have had problems and we haven't talked since the day I left, so I believe she's at some congress or something. I'm curious to know what happened to her within all these years. When I get to the hospital, I start getting scared. The last time I was here was six years ago and I left without looking back, I believe most of the people in here hate me. I walk to the elevators and wait for a while before going to Owen's office. I perfectly know where it's situated but I'm kinda scared I might see Callie somewhere. When I finally get there, I knock on the door.

"Come in."

I gently open the door and smile at Owen. "Hi !"

He gets up to hug me. "Arizona ! You look amazing."

I smile at him. "Thank you, you too !" We sit down and start talking about random stuff. After a while, he eventually decides to hand me the child's medical records.

"So, we're talking about leukemia." I state.

He nods. "Don't open it yet." He tells me. I slowly place the child's medical records on his desk and look at him, waiting for an explanation. "This child is like family here. He is two of our doctors' child."

I grab the chart and open it, to find the child's name on the first page. "Mateo Torr... Mateo Torres." I say. "_Callie_ ?"

He nods and I almost choke. "He's Callie's son ? You called me because _Callie's son_ has JMML ?!" I can't believe this is really happening.

I frantically leaf through his medical records to understand what happened to him and how severe his leukemia is. "Oh shit, Owen." I whisper. "This is huge. I need to see the child, visit him and run some more tests."


	2. Hope

**ARIZONA'S POV**

I left Owen's office a few minutes ago and I'm still standing next to his door. I don't know how to react, this whole thing is quite upsetting. I need to see Alex before going to visit Callie's son, I need to know a few things and understand how I should act in front of her. I text him and arrange to meet in the cafeteria in ten minutes. When I get there, I grab a cup of coffee and sit down in a small table next to the window. I kinda miss this place, it made me feel secure.

"Robbins !" I hear Alex calling out. I get up to hug him and he seems truly happy to see me. "How are you ?" He asks.

"I'm good... I'm good, thank you. What about you ? How are you managing my ward ? Did you destroy it ?" I joke.

He laughs and smirks. "Better than you !" He sits down in front of me. "Just kidding. I'm trying to follow my teacher's steps ! Listen... I know where this conversation's going, Robbins... Just ask me what you need to know."

I look at him, uncertain how to go on. There are so many things I'm thinking about asking him and I really don't know what my first question should be. "Is she married ?" Seems like the first thing I wanna know.

"Nope." He says, taking a sip of his coffee.

I feel somehow relieved, because I have been waiting for her to call me back for six long years. The way I had to go away still hurts me every single day and I don't think I'll ever be able to forgive myself. After Africa I thought she would simply take me back, maybe after a while, I was ready to fight, I was ready to do whatever she needed me to do. I needed her back and I couldn't go on without her by my side. She wasn't willing to forgive me, she didn't want me back in her life... And she made me leave. It broke my heart, but deep inside, I knew it was what she needed. I thought she just needed her time and I wanted to give her as much space as she could possibly need. In my mind, I was hoping to get a phone call one day and having her telling me that she needed me and that she wanted me back.

**I never got that phone call.**

"But she has a kid, Alex." I tell him.

"Kids." He specifies. "She has three kids."

How's that even possible ? I surely wasn't ready for this. She might still be single, but she has a family.

I have nothing.

"I left six years ago ! How did she find the time to have three kids ?!" I really don't understand. I guess she got over me kinda fastly.

"She got pregnant when you left for Africa. When you came back and she forced you to leave, she was really stressed and upset and, after more or less two months, she found out that she was pregnant."

"Who's baby's that ?" I ask him. I actually think I already know what he's going to say now.

"Mark's." He whispers. "It was rather complicated, actually. Callie was in a car crash when she was six months pregnant, Lexie was driving and they were badly injured. Lexie died almost instantly, but Callie and the baby somehow managed to survive. They're fighters, but Lexie's death completely shattered Mark's heart. Callie gave birth to Sofia Robbin Sloan Torres on march 4th, 2011."

I almost choke on my coffee. "Robbin ?"

He nods. "Yeah."

"Alex, are you telling me that she named her first daughter after me ? Why would she do that ? I know she suffered a lot because of me, even if she tried to hide it."

He shrugs. "Go ask her. I have no idea, it was stupid in my opinion. You broke her heart and she chose to name her daughter after you, anyways. It had to be a really powerful love."

I have tears in my eyes. I can't believe she really did this, I know I was rather significant in her life, but I did actually break her heart. I know Alex doesn't know what to tell me right now, so he simply goes on telling me about Callie's children.

"Callie and Sofia had to stay in here for six weeks and then Mark moved in with them. Callie felt pretty insecure after the crash and living together made everything much easier. Mark refused to date girls and I think he dated the first one when Sofia was almost two years old. Callie was never able to build a proper relationship, she's just had some one night stands or casual flings. When Sofia was two, they decided to have another baby. They tried and Callie eventually got pregnant with twins and almost two years ago, she gave birth to Mateo and Emma Margaret." It sounds more like a fairytale and I can't believe he's talking about my soul mate's life. It's so weird to even think that none of this would have happened if I had never left for Africa. I need to see her, but I'm not ready yet. I know she'll be devastated because of her son and I'll probably just end up stammering and talking nonsense about how much I am sorry for what happened between us and for what happened to her beloved child.

"So she has three kids." I repeat. "And she lives with Mark."

He nods. "But he has a girlfriend now. I don't really know how he managed to make her accept his life... I mean, it's pretty weird."

I laugh. Because it is actually weird but, deep inside, I know I would have accepted Callie living with Mark as well. "It is."

"Did you see her yet ?" He asks me.

"Nope and I don't think I'm ready yet. I mean... I have never seen her after that night, but I'm pretty sure she'll just treat me like the doctor I am supposed to be. I'm here because of her son, not because of us. Neither of us is thinking about our relationship and it's alright. I'll do what I can to help her son and, then, I'll leave again." He looks at me and I notice that he's trying so hard not to laugh at me. "What ?"

"We both know that you won't just leave. I see her everyday and, believe me, she won't just let you leave. Not again. Robbins, her son's her first concern right now, but she won't forget who you are and who she wanted you to be. She's been whining over the person she dated because they were never "worth it", or never "enough." Do you know why ? Because she used you as a model. I have to go now, my kid's are waiting for me, I have interns to supervise. I'll see you later."

**CALLIE'S POV.**

I have spent the night here, next to my baby. Mark wanted to stay here, next to me, but I made him go home with the girls, I really didn't want to leave them with Derek and Meredith. I don't want them to think that because of Mateo's illness we'll forget them, they are as important as he is. I need to go now, I want to see the girls before going back to work. I have a surgery to perform before the meeting with Arizona and Mark's staying with Mateo while I'm on surgery. I kiss my son on his forehead and leave his room with tears in my eyes. I find Mark waiting for me at the daycare, Emma in his arms and Sofia already playing with Zola.

"Hi there"

"Mamiiiii" Sofia screams. "I missed you." I pick her up. "Daddy doesn't know how to braid my hair." She whispers. I start laughing and Mark smirks at me. I let Sofia go back to her games with Zola and start talking to Mark.

"The night was pretty good. The meeting's at two p.m, try to be there on time please. Oh God, what in hell did you do to this baby's hair ?" I pick Emma from his arms.

"Told you." Sofia snaps.

I kiss Mark in his left cheek and let him go see Mateo. I spend some time with Sofia and Emma before going to surgery. I need some time to cool off and working is surely the best thing to do right now. I told Mark to try and be punctual for the meeting with Arizona, but I actually believe I'll be the one to be late.

**ARIZONA'S POV.**

I need to see Mateo before the meeting at two p.m today, so I ask the nurse where his room is. I walk towards it and notice that Mark's sitting next to Mateo's little bed. I stop in front of the door for a while and eventually decide to knock on the door. Mark turns around and signs me to enter.

"Hi, Mark." He gets up and walks towards me to shake my hand.

"Hi, Arizona." He tiredly smiles at me. "Don't worry if he hides under the covers, he's just really shy. He'll get used to you." I walk next to the bed and see that Mateo's staring at me. I wait for him to talk, knowing that shy kids need their time.

"Hi." He says after a while "You pretty."

I smile and hand him the little stuffed giraffe that I was keeping in my pocket. "Thank you, you look very handsome."

He giggles and takes the giraffe from my hand. He starts playing with it. "I'm Mateo." He says, still looking at the stuffed animal. "You ?"

"Arizona." I tell him. He looks at me and then goes back to playing with the giraffe.

"Like it."

Mark is staring at me, he's surprised to see how much his son opened up to me. "Is he really shy ?" I ask him

"He is actually really shy. Callie and I were very concerned about this, because he's never able to play with other kids. I believe you're the first one to make him feel comfortable." He genuinely smiles at me.

"I'll see you later, Mark." He nods and I walk away. I have nothing to do till two, so I spend the rest of my free time in the cafeteria, thinking. I was rather surprised to see how comfortable Mateo was when I was with him. Maybe I was destined to be with his mother and he knows it.

At two p.m I am here again. Mark is standing next to me and we are waiting for Callie to come.

"I am sorry." He begins. "She had surgery, we both know that there can be problems."

"Don't worry, we have plenty of time." I see Callie coming from the elevators. My heart starts racing, but I'm trying so hard to hide my feelings.

"Sorry I'm late." She looks so pretty, it's hard to breath whenever she's around. "Hi" She offers her hand and I shake it.

"Hi, don't worry about being late. It's okay. I visited Mateo this morning before lunch, his therapy is rather complicated considering his age and everything. We'll begin with a splenectomy scheduled for Thursday morning, then we'll try with bone marrow transplant if we're able to find a donor. Whenever you're ready we can test you both to see if you can be donors." I look at them and see that Callie's crying. Mark is trying to comfort her, but she looks extremely devastated, their son's diagnosis is something huge to fully accept.

"We should test our daughters too." Callie tells me. "They might be compatible."

I nod. "It's better to have has many chances as possible. I am so sorry about this whole situation, but we found it very early, it shouldn't be difficult to defeat." Callie looks at me and I see a little bit of hope in her eyes.


	3. My dream

CALLIE'S POV.

I'm here alone in Mateo's room, because Mark had to go right after the meeting with Arizona. She didn't say anything new, we already knew what was going to happen to our baby, but hearing her talking about splenectomy and bone marrow transplant just broke my heart. I can't believe we're talking about my baby here and not about some random child who was brought in by his parents. Today I am the desperate parent, today I am the one standing in a room watching a baby sleeping with tears in my eyes. Why ? What did I do wrong ?

I luckily have the afternoon off and tonight Mark is spending the night here with Mateo. We both agreed to spend one night each with him, because the girls need us as much as he does. I'll stay here for a little longer, then it's time for me to go see the girls. I'll go see if a nurse can test me beofre going to the daycare. I kiss Mateo on his forehead and proceede to leave his room. When I close his door behind my back, I find Arizona sitting where normally the nurses are.

"Hey.." I tell her. "What are you still doing here ?"

"I have nothing else to do, actually. I came here just for your son, but I didn't feel like leaving yet." She says, looking at me. I do understand what she means, she didn't feel like leaving me here on my own.

"I need to go get tested for the bone marrow transplant." I tell her.

She nods. "Yeah, I can do that." She gets up from her seat and indicates an exam room.

"Uhm... Not right now."

"Oh, alright. Then I'll go back to my doing nothing." She laughs and I feel those butterflies again.

"Why don't you come with me ? We can go grab a cup of coffee and then you can come with me to see the girls." I tell her, even if I don't exactly know why. "If it's not too much, obviously."

"Yeah." She smiles at me. "Why not ?"

We walk to the cafeteria and I have to admit that I feel pretty weird to be here again, with her sitting next to me, but it's nice. It's still something that makes me happy.

"So, now that you know that I'm not married... Tell me about yourself." I tell her.

"Uhm, well... There's actually nothing much to say about my life. I went back to Hopkin's and... That's basically it."

"So you're not married either"

"Nope." She smiles at me. "I haven't... Found the right person, yet." Her smiles disappeared. "Well, I have... But, you know... Life is unpredictable, shit happens..."

I laugh, I perfectly know what she's talking about. "Yep. Same here."

She looks at me and we spend at least five minutes just staring at each other, my eyes lost in hers, my soul trying to grab hers, my heart still belonging to her and my mind trying to understand what's going on. It's weird to notice that my feelings for her didn't even try to change, I feel exactly the way I felt before she left. My love for her didn't fade away, even when I thought it had.

"So, you simply got the job of your dreams." I tell her, knowing we can't just go on staring at each other.

"The job of my dreams was here." She states, apparently she's not willing to drop it. "But Hopkin's a great hospital, it's where I started and I guess I'm going to finish my career there." I can see a little bit of regret in her eyes. I don't quite understand if she's trying to make me understand that she'd like to come back, to work here again, but she thinks I wouldn't let her. She had to go back to Hopkin's because I asked her to leave, I couldn't see her everyday and pretend having her here wasn't affecting my work or my life. It was just too much to have her next to me every single day, even because way too many kids need an orthopedic surgeon, how was I supposed to work with her ? I actually wasn't expecting her to leave, but I guess she felt the same. She came back from Africa to be with me and I believe my choice broke her heart too, but it was the right thing to do. She chose her career over me and I can't blame her for that, I would have probably done the same... But I would have taken her with me. The thing that hurt me the most was that she chose to go there without me, because, in her mind, I was ruining the whole thing, I was whining all the time and behaving like a kid... Well, what did she expect from me ? I had to give up my life, abandon the hospital and my friends here to go with her... In my mind I had the right to whine a little. Whatever, doesn't matter anymore.

"Shall we go see my daughters ?" I ask her, almost shyly.

She nods and gets up. "Yeah, I'm curious to see them." She smiles at me and waits for me to throw away my cup of coffee. "So... I know I might sound weird, or something... How's my ward going ?" I find it kinda cute the way she still calls it "her ward".

I giggle a little. "It's a great department, actually. Alex's doing a great job."

"He learnt from the best." We say in unison.

She stops walking and looks at me. "What ?" I ask her.

"Nothing, it's weird how we still think the same things." She looks at the floor and starts walking again.

"Yeah." I nod and proceed towards the daycare. "Here we are." I tell her, in front of the daycare's door. I don't think she's actually ever been here.

I open the door and suddenly Sofia clings on my left leg. "Hey baby." I say, picking her up. "Wanna meet mommy's friend ?" Sofia looks at me, at Arizona and then back at me.

"Yep" She says, while I put her back down. She lifts her hand up, to let Arizona shake it. "I'm Sofia"

"Hi Sofia, my name's Arizona."

Sofia looks at her for a while before talking. "Weird." She states, giggling. "Weird is nice."

Arizona laughs a little. "She looks just like you. It's kind of scary." She tells me. "You're a little nice girl, Sofia. You're really pretty."

Sofia giggles and runs back to her toys, sitting down next to Zola. "That's Meredith and Derek's daughter, Zola." I explain. "They couldn't conceive and they decided to adopt... But Meredith got pregnant after a few years !"

"You don't even have to tell me which one's Mateo's twin." She says, while pointing at Emma. "She looks like a smaller Sofia with Mark's eyes. It's so damn weird."

The one thing she doesn't know is that Emma's eyes remind me of hers... When I was pregnant with the twins I kept saying that I wanted at least one of them to have Mark's eyes... And when I saw Emma, all I could think of, was Arizona.

**_It was my dream to have a family with her._**


	4. We need to talk

**I know it's short, but it had to be.**

**ARIZONA'S POV.**

I am watching Callie holding her baby girl and it's killing me. I have never actually thought about having a family of my own, but watching Callie soflty soothing her baby girl makes me want to scream. She was made for me, we are meant to end up together, but I think I lost my chance with her six years ago. I was just waiting for her to call me, even when I perfectly knew I had to call her. Maybe she was waiting for me too, maybe she wanted me to come back to her... And I didn't. I behaved like a child, waiting for her to make the right move. Damn it.

"I know, but I love her eyes." She tells me. "Kinda remind me of yours." She looks at me and rushes her hand to her mouth, blushing. "Sorry, I didn't mean to.."

"It's alright." I smile at her, trying to hide what I'm really feeling like. I feel like a stupid teenager not able to control her own ormons and emotions and I actually believe what I'm feeling might be

regret.

I hate myself for this, we're grown ups and we can't even be honest. I know her main concern right now is Mateo's health and I really don't want to bother her with my feelings and stuff. I wish I had told her what I felt like years ago, because it didn't change. It won't ever change.  
She smiles at me, her cheeks just turned red in shame. The thing that hurts me the most is seeing that she's trying to hide her feelings and I am doing the same. Why ? Pride ?

"We need to talk." I tell her, I'm not willing to wait anymore, I can't waste any more time.

"Sure." She perfectly knows why I want to talk to her and I believe she needs to do the same thing. She hugs both her daughters and we end up sitting next to each other in an on-call room, it's rather weird. She's facing me and I don't know how to begin this conversation, I'm way too nervous.

"There's not a proper way to say this." I begin, my eyes locked with hers. "But I need to do this, because it's haunting me and I can't live with this weight anymore. I have tried and tried again to forget what we shared, I tried to tell myself that it was better for you if we were apart, but my heart keeps aching. I know that there's something missing, I just can't feel complete. I came here worried as hell, I didn't know if you were married or engaged or what... I was scared to tell you that I have been alone for the past six years because nobody was worth enough to take your place. I can't say that I didn't try to replace you, because I did... But I couldn't be happy, I couldn't find the right person for myself... Because my soulmate has been here, in Seattle and not next to me. It felt wrong, whenever I had to date somebody I felt guilty, almost if I was cheating on you... And I somehow felt still connected to you."

I stop for a while, trying to stop myself from crying, but letting everything go as soon as I notice that she's crying her heart out in front of me. I don't know if she's nervous or if she's feeling the same, but I really needed her to know that my feelings for her haven't changed, I can't just go on with my life knowing that she's not aware of this. I have been waiting for this moment for six long years, surely not expecting her to be nice or whatever. I feel incredibly better, even if I should probably walk away. I move to get up, but she grabs my left hand.

_"Maybe you felt still connected to me because I have never stopped loving you."_


	5. Amazing kids

CALLIE'S POV

"Maybe you felt still connected to me because I have never stopped loving you." I can't believe I just said these words, I just wanted to hide my feelings for her. I am still holding her left hand, but I'm not brave enough to look at her.

"Really ?" She asks, making me let her go and walking to stand in front of me.

I don't know if telling the truth was the right thing to do right now. "Really." I whisper. She seats next to me and grabs both my hands. Her eyes are red and puffy and I can still feel tears streaming down my face. I look at her and see that smile I was missing so much, it makes me feel warm inside. "I do love you." I repeat. "And it's killing me. My son's sick and I need to be strong for him, but I need somebody to support me. I've been thinking about you for so long, I just couldn't stop waiting for you to come back. How weird is it ? You came back to save my son and I can't think about anything else right now, I hope you understand what I am trying to say." I need her to be by my side, but I don't have time to think about us while Mateo is still here in the hospital.

"I do understand." She says, squeezing my hands. "I want you to know that I'll be there, alright ? I can be your support, even if you don't feel like having time for a relationship. I can wait, I can be whatever you need me to be. I love you, Calliope." She smiles at me and her dimples make me shiver. The sound of her voice calling me Calliope makes me want to kiss her so bad, it feels like she never had to go away from me. I have nothing more to say, this room is dark, but my heart is glowing out of happiness. I grab her face with both my hands and kiss her, with passion, closing my eyes and I can't help but smile while my lips touch hers. The butterflies in my stomach are dancing right now, I can't focuse anymore and I just feel like flying.

ARIZONA'S POV.

Her lips against mine make me feel great, I can finally feel complete. I can't believe this is actually happening, I just got to kiss the love of my life once again and I swear I won't let her go ever again. After our kiss I hug her, I really don't want to feel alone again. It's important for her to feel my presence, I want to be there for her, but she needs her space, her first thought is Mateo and he has to be my main concern right now, I have to help him, somehow.

"We need to go test you for bone marrow transplant, Callie." I tell her.

"Right, you're right." She replies. "Should we go back to the paediatric ward or what ?"

"Doesn't matter ! We can do it wherever you want, but we should do it with the girls too. Maybe it's better if we go back to Peds."

"Alright, let's go get the girls !" She tells me. I'm getting nervous, I don't quite know why. I nod and smile at her, trying to look as confident as possible. We walk back to the daycare and take the Sofia and Emma to my old ward, to get them tested. We all sit in an exam-room and I get ready to test them.

"Mama" I hear Sofia saying. "Why are we doing this ?" She asks.

"Because we need to understand if we can help Mateo, princess. He needs us to help him, but we don't know if we can yet, alright ?" Callie explains, trying to reassure the eldest of her daughters. Emma is quietly sitting in a chair, looking at me and holding her stuffed little bear. Sofia nods and runs next to her little sister. "Did you hear mama, Emma ?" The baby girl nods and Sofia keeps talking. "We can help Mateo !" She giggles, maybe not quite understanding what's happening. Emma giggles with her and I can't help but stare at Callie, who's looking at them with a huge smile on her face.

"It's so beautiful to see them like this. They don't understand how severe Mateo's condition is and they feel happy about being able to help him. It's... Amazing." She tells me, trying to whisper.

"Your daughters are amazing and Mateo's amazing too, really. I met him, he's an awesome little kid. They'll all grow up to be perfect, just like their mama."


	6. Without her

**CALLIE'S POV**

"Are you out of your mind ? What the hell were you thinking ?!" I thought I'd find some kind of support in him.

"Mark, it was what I felt like doing. It was the right thing to do, my emotions are… Huge and they're suffocating me. My plan was to pretend I was over her, but then she told me all those nice things and I couldn't help but admit that I feel the exact same way. Love can't be hidden, Mark." I am looking at him, trying to make him understand that what Arizona and I share is something that happens once in a lifetime.

"Of course it can be hidden, Callie !" His eyes are wide open, he wasn't expecting any of this.

"Not this kind of love ! It's too powerful to be defeated and you know it. You were there when I cried my heart out every night and you perfectly know that being away from her didn't change my feelings, I still love her way too much. You always say that you want me to find happiness and that I deserve to find the right person for myself…. Arizona is my soul mate, Mark." I am tearing up, because Mark's support is the thing I need the most right now. He gave me everything I have ever wanted, we have three amazing kids, but there has always been something missing and we both know that_ I'll never feel complete without her_. "I need her in my life and I won't let her go, not again."

He looks at me, I know he's been trying to make me forget her for the past six years, but my destiny is to end up with her, I've always known that we're meant to be. "S_he broke your heart_." He whispers.

"Everybody deserves a second chance, Mark. She made a mistake, but I made lots of mistakes as well, nobody's perfect here. You need to trust her, because I won't do this if you don't support me. You're my best friend, I need you to understand what's going on." I'm almost begging now, I really need him to be by my side. "Mateo is my first concern right now, we both need to be strong for him and I believe being with her would make me even stronger. Arizona and I are meant to be together and you know that."

"I know you are." He says, grabbing my hand. "You deserve happiness, Callie, but we need to focus on our son now."

"I am focused on him and I was thinking about clearing all my surgeries for a while. I want to be with him for as much as I can, even if he's basically sleeping all day long. He doesn't quite understand what's going on, but he's always upset and I want to be there for him." Being a mother is a full time job and I can't take care of my surgeries if I want to be next to him, I don't have enough time for all that stuff. I can't be with Mateo, be in the O.R and work at my research right now, I need to understand what my priorities are. "My priority is Mateo, I'm leaving surgery and research stalemate."

"Are you sure ? You've been working a lot on that research."

"I know, I know… But Mateo needs me right now and my research can wait, after all." I tell him, knowing that I'll be able to keep working on my research as soon as Mateo feels better.

"Alright, fine. I need to go now, but I will talk to Arizona when I find some time to. I'll see you later." He says, before kissing my cheek and walking away. I don't even know where Arizona is, so I decide to go visit Mateo, before taking the girls home. Tonight I am going to sleep at home, while Mark is staying here with Mateo, since tomorrow's his day off. When I get to Mateo's room, I find him playing with a stuffed animal. I play with him for a little while, just enjoying my time with my son. I can't believe my two years old child needs bone marrow transplant, it's so unfair. I see lots of kids in need of surgeries that shouldn't even exist for children, but having my own child in this hospital bed is killing me. It's wrong, nobody should have to go through this, let alone my son.

"Hey, how is everything going ?" I hear a familiar voice asking from behind my back. I turn around to see a smiling Arizona standing on the door. I open my mouth to answer back, but Mateo starts giggling as soon as he sees Arizona. She walks towards him and gives him another stuffed animal to play with and I notice a weird excitement in his eyes. It's the first time I see them together and I am happy to see that Mateo isn't shy around her.

"Yay !" He yells, looking at the stuffed animal Arizona gave him. She smiles at him and then looks at me.

"I guess he's feeling alright !"

"Yeah, he is… I'm glad to see you make him feel comfortable."

"I'm just really good with children." She states, giggling a little.

"Oh no, it has to be more than that. No adult is able to talk, let alone play with him. He's really shy and I hope it's just because he's little… But with you it's different, I believe you make him feel safe." I tell her, rather surprised.

"Well, maybe it's a sign." She smirks at me. "At least he doesn't hate me. It's a positive thing, I guess."

"Of course it is, but brace yourself, I told Mark about what happened before and he said he needs to talk to you, because I am out of my mind." I tell her. She tries to control herself, but she bursts into a loud laughter that makes me want to kiss her again. I just love the way she smiles and her dimples.

"It's alright, I can deal with that."


	7. Meant to be

**Hey guys, I know it's been a long time since my last update, but I have other fanfictions to update and sometimes I just don't feel like writing this one... Here's my next chapter, hope you guys enjoy it ! Thank you all for the nice reviews !**

**ARIZONA'S POV.**

I'm glad to see how comfortable Mateo is whenever I'm around and I guess Callie feels the same way. It's nice to see her almost every moment of my day, since her son is the only patient I'm treating right now. I was thinking about asking Owen to give me somebody else to treat as well, because I might stay here longer than expected.

Maybe I could even stay here forever.

"I need to go get the girls and then I can go back home… I'm so tired !" Callie tells me, while looking at her coffee. "It's not that easy to sleep when your son is sick."

"I can understand that." I sigh. "But he'll feel better soon, I promise. We'll get the results back in a few days and then we can start with our procedure. It's be okay, don't worry."

She smiles at me and puts her hand over mine. "Thank you." She squeezes my hand before grabbing another sip of her coffee. "I'd better go now !"

She gets up and I follow her to the daycare, I might as well go back to my hotel, I'm tired too. When we get to the daycare I notice that Emma is already sound asleep, while Sofia's still playing with Zola. Callie picks up the youngest of her daughters and calls out for Sofia.

"Come on, baby. We need to get going." She says, but Sofia doesn't want to leave her toys and her friend. "You'll get to play again with Zola tomorrow, alright ?"

"I have to go to school tomorrow." She states, not willing to get up.

"I know, honey. Zola's coming as well."

"Home with us ?" Sofia asks, her eyes lighting up the whole room. She's so beautiful and I can't believe I could have spent six years with her.

"No, baby… She's coming to school with you tomorrow." Callie explains. Sofia nods and slowly gets up.

"Bye Zola" She says, defeated.

We walk to the elevator and I feel shivers on my spine when Sofia grabs my hand to hold it. Callie looks at us, amazed.

"Sorry" Sofia whispers.

"Why ?" I ask her, confused.

"I'm holding your hand… Maybe you don't like it. I like holding hands." She smiles at me and I can't help but smile back at her.

"It's okay, I like holding hands too." I say and then I look at Callie and smirk at her.

When we get next to Callie's car I feel somehow weird. "I'll see you tomorrow, Sofia." I tell the little girl as she signs me to lean down. She gives me a little kiss on the cheek before opening the car door.

"She likes you." Callie tells me, before putting Emma in her car seat. "it's amazing how all my kids like you, Arizona. I might have given that to them, maybe it's genetic !" She giggles and kisses me goodbye, making sure to hide from the girls.

I blush a little and turn around to walk to the hospital. I feel incredibly complete now, but I terribly regret walking away that day six years ago. This could have been my life, I could have raised those kids, but now I simply look like their mother's friend and I seriously don't think Callie would introduce me as her girlfriend to them, it's way too difficult to explain. I don't want to go on with this knowing that I won't be a part of her family, even if I perfectly understand how difficult it might seem to her.

_For now, it's enough to have her in my life_.

It's my fault if we got to this point, because I perfectly knew that Africa wasn't worth leaving her. My career is important and I never thought that love might actually stop me from doing great things, but that time it did. I ruined everything and I'll make sure it won't happen again. I care way too much to let her go.

I'm walking back to the hospital and it feels like going back home. I know I need to see Mark and I'd better talk to him sooner rather than later. I'll sit in the cafeteria, I'll probably come by to have a coffee or something to eat, since it's dinner time. I've been sitting here for about half an hour when I see him on the door, talking to Derek. I get up to let him notice me and, as soon as he does, he walks towards my table.

"Hey" He says "Can I sit with you ?"

I nod and he smiles at me. "So… Callie told me about that thing that happened between you two and I just wanted to… Well, talk to you about something."

"It's okay, I get it." I tell him, trying to look as calm as possible. I know I'm just talking to Callie's best friend, but I'm nervous anyways.

"I just want to make sure you won't hurt her again. I know it wasn't only your fault and I really thought she should have let you back in her life when you came back… But she didn't and I figured it might be the best thing for her. I eventually understood that it was the worst thing she could possibly do, because she spent her nights crying herself to sleep, she was a wreck and there was no way to make her happy again. She began feeling better when she found out about Sofia, but she's always had a… Kind of big hole in her heart." He looks at me to make sure I understood everything that he said. I perfectly know how hard it was on her, because our break up destroyed my heart and soul as well. I have tears streaming down my face and I feel even worse than I used to feel when we were apart. I am getting only now to really understand how much pain our break up caused her. "I know that you're her soul mate and I want her to be happy… I have always known that happiness for her meant being with you and, now, she finally gets to be with the person she loves. Now, this is me begging… Don't hurt her again, Arizona. She doesn't deserve to suffer." I see true agony in his eyes, because he knows how hard it was for Callie and, more than anything else, because he's aware that he won't ever be with the person he honestly loves.

"I won't hurt her, I promise. I know I failed her, but I can't lose her again, Mark. My life without her has been… Miserable, I felt lonely and there was no way for me to be happy, because I knew that she wasn't by my side. I need her and I want to make her happy, because my life has no meaning without her."

He looks at me and, for the first time, I see acceptance in his eyes. "_I knew you were meant to be."_


End file.
